Abraham List Class 10
Content & Assignment: Inclusion/Exclusion
written by Margie (Kurko) White
summer 1997
Theme quotes for the week, from Portland 7/11/96, and G 6/6/96:
"There is no such thing as exclusion and every time you try it, all you really do is include in your vibration something that contradicts your desire. You see when you say Yes to something, you're including something you want. When you say No to something you're including something you don't want. So in all of this objectivity that you`ve worked so hard to achieve, all you're really doing is messing up your own vibration."
"You live in a land of contrast because contrast is essential to decision. But if you will become includers of what you do want rather than excluders of what you don't want, you'll purify your Energy. And when you begin to line up your Energy, you will be amazed at how fast the Universe responds to you."
What is exclusion? It's simply focusing on what you don't want, which of course brings it right to you. There is no exclusion. Most of us have been trained to be very objective - to explain what we don't want whenever we state what we do want. But in our justifying of what we want, we don't allow it to come to us because we are offering contradictory vibrations.
"You have been trained to exclude. You've been trained to say, "Watch out for that. I don't want that." And all along you are including that thing you don't want. So when you say, "I want more money... I don't want debt," you're actually including two contradictory vibrations within your vibration."
"Most people cannot make it through a whole sentence without contradicting the vibration of their desire. They will say, "Abraham, I want to be well...I'm so tired of being sick.", "Abraham, I want more money...I'm very tired of the struggle." They're outputting two contradictory vibrations, and the Universe is responding to both of them, so nothing is changing for them."
Sometimes the exclusion is obvious. "I don`t want these darn mosquitoes biting me anymore!" Or, "I don`t want to work hard." Or, "I'm tired of people ignoring me." When you catch yourself offering something you don`t want, then quickly change your focus to what you do want. If you can't come up with something specific (what's the opposite of annoying insects?), then generalize your desire. "I want peace and quiet while I enjoy being outside."
However, sometimes the excluding vibration is not so obvious. If your life is not perfect in every way, then it's because you have resistance to what you want, or you are including what you don`t want (usually through the process of excluding it.) As Abraham says, all you have to do is identify the desire and then achieve a vibrational match with it.
In recent tapes, Abraham seems to be more obvious in deliberately pointing out hidden resistance in the questioner's vibration. Abraham will ask, "Tell us what you want." And then they will point out, "Can you see how what you are saying is not a match to the vibration you are offering? Did you notice how much quicker and more emphatically you responded to what you do NOT want, than to what you do not want?".
If you`ve been playing with the Abraham processes, you should be pretty good at noticing when you are including what you don`t want. Negative emotion will always tell you when you are including contradictory energy. However, what if you`ve defined your desires, done the processes, lined up the energy - and, you still don`t have what you want. You may have hidden resistance. In stating your desires, you may also be subconsciously offering a contradictory vibration. These pockets of hidden resistance may stem from old beliefs, habits of thought, or just not paying enough attention to your emotions. This week's assignment is an exercise in finding your hidden resistance, so you can get to a place of offering a purer vibration.
I (Margie) developed this process from listening to Abraham help people see where their vibration actually was in relation to their desires. I've found that hidden resistance can be a very subtle offering, but once you figure it out, you can't believe you didn't notice it sooner.
For this assignment, choose something major that you`ve been 'working` on for awhile. It should be something that still hasn't shown up in your life yet, although you feel that you`ve released as much resistance as possible. Choose something that you`ve written a script about, or done a focus wheel.
You can do this alone, or with a partner. I suggest a partner because usually someone else can hear your resistance better than you can. Take some paper, choose your desire, and write 5 to 10 statements on why you want this. Begin each statement with "I want ___(your desire)___ because............" Skip 3 or 4 lines between each statement. The statements about why you want it should come very quickly. If they don`t, then pick another desire. Or go back and do your homework on this one - scripting, focus wheels, etc.
Now go back to your first statement. Repeat it out loud, and then add this statement "and because I do NOT want.......". For example, if you wrote: "I want a new red car because I love driving sexy cars," you would finish the sentence with something like: "and because I don`t want to drive my ugly, unsexy car." After you write the NOT sentence, take a moment to see how it feels. Does it feel neutral? Do you feel a little resistance? Or do you feel a major pushing against what you do not want? By spending a few moments defining what you do not want, you are finding areas of hidden resistance. These are the areas that you are trying to exclude when you make your statements about what you want.
For this assignment, write up your statements and your feelings about any resistance you find. You may also want to tell us which processes you are going to do to release the resistance.
Here's the example I went through creating this process for the first time. It had been three months since the break up of my last relationship. I had attracted some men into my life, but it would only get to a certain point, and then they would fade out. I had been doing all my work, and I had done some major resistance-releasing processes on my last boyfriend. I should have had the perfect relationship, so what was the problem?
THE EXAMPLE:
What I want: A perfect, intimate, fun, loving relationship with a man who loves and accepts me as I am.
1. I want this relationship because I want grow and learn more about myself in a loving relationship with a man.
And because I don`t want to do this on my own all the time. (How do I feel about this last statement: OK, the on-my-own part doesn't feel totally neutral. I may have some resistance here, but it feels minor.)
2. I want this relationship because I want to laugh and have fun with a man.
And because I don`t want to do this with just my friends. (Neutral, I like hanging out with my friends.)
3. I want this relationship because I want a man who loves and accepts me.
Because I don`t want another Wayne. (Oh wow - major, major resistance. Major buttons pushed on being accepted. I don`t want to be treated the way he treated me. I don`t want Wayne. Yuck, yuck, yuck - get that Wayne thing out of here. OK, I thought I released Wayne with a major forgiveness exercise last month. Obviously, there's more here.)
4. I want this relationship because I want to see where I'm vibrating right now and how good I am at deliberate creating.
And because I don`t want to be creating by observing. (Neutral. I know I am a deliberate creator.)
5. I want this relationship because I want sex and intimacy with a man who is a match to my sexual desires.
And because I don`t want.... hmmm, because I don`t want... Well, just because I like it and I want it. No resistance here. (No surprise.)
Follow up:
I had more statements, but I found exactly what I needed with the above. I had some hidden resistance pushing against being alone. I also had much more resistance to my last boyfriend that I realized, especially in the area of acceptance of who I am. So I got to work with my Abraham processes: I played the appreciation game with being alone, and actually came to a place of realizing my life would be ok if I never settled down with a mate. I asked the universe to show me clear examples of how people loved and accepted me for who I am.
It took me a month or two of not thinking about Wayne to get to a place where I could think about him without the negative emotion. It took me almost a week after I decided that I would write about him in my Book of Positive Aspects before I could actually sit down and do it. I waited until the energy was lined up, and then I did it. A few days after that I received an email from the man who is now my current boyfriend. I am very, very happy with where I'm vibrating right now in terms of 'perfect relationship with a man'. It's much better than I ever imagined. I love this stuff!
[Note from Connee: Margie married that "current boyfriend" last year!]
Have fun with all of this. And remember,
"When it comes to cookie counters, most of our physical friends correctly apply the process of inclusion, rather than exclusion. See all things as a cookie counter where you simply make your choice--and it is done."
Questions about this lesson? Please feel free to email Margie
2011 update: Margie has been happily married since 1999 and continues to live life the Abraham-Hicks way. Her amazing life just keeps getting better and better. If you have any questions about this lesson or would like to know more please feel free to contact Margie at the www.AbeForum.com Her username is Margie.